I HONESTLY THOUGHT IT WAS THE BEST FEELING EVER. I WOULDN’T CARE WHO I HURT, HOW MUCH TROUBLE I WAS IN, OR HOW MY LIFE WOULD CHANGE AFTER THE “ORDEAL”; THAT WAS MY MISTAKE. IN LIFE IT GOT INCREASINGLY HARDER TO STAY “COOL”, AND MY AGGRESSION ONLY WENT DOWN THROUGH PHYSICAL EXERTION; SO IT WASN’T ALL BAD. I WAS ABLE TO GET FIT AND REACH NEW LEVELS OF STRENGTH AND SURPASS ANYONE IN MY GRADE IN COMBAT; IT FELT AMAZING, KNOWING NO ONE COULD BEAT YOU AND YOU’D ONLY GET STRONGER!!. STILL I WAS LEFT BROKEN. MY OUTBURST CAUGHT MY FATHER AND UNCLE'S EYES, SO THEY TESTED ME. I WOULD FIGHT THEM UNTIL THEY FELT TIRED. THEY NEVER GOT TIRED. THE HITS KEPT COMING IN AND I COULD ONLY BRACE FOR IMPACT. THEY WERE AMAZED I COULD TAKE ALL THEIR PUNCHES, BUT THEY WEREN’T FIGHTING AT THEY’RE BEST.
AFTER THE WHOLE THING, MY FATHER WAS EXTREMELY DISAPPOINTED IN ME. HE SAID I LET MY RAGE RUN MY LIFE AND IF I DON’T GET IT UNDER CONTROL I’LL BE DEAD BEFORE 20. ALSO, THAT IT’S MEANT TO BE LET GO; I WOULD ONLY HURT MYSELF INSIDE AND THAT IT CAN BE IRREVERSIBLE.
MAYBE HE WAS RIGHT,IT WAS THE ONLY THING I FELT FOR A WHILE. SO I STARTED TO LET GO AND NOT HOLD IN ALL MY FRUSTRATIONS ,AND I FELT 10X BETTER!!. I COULD SMILE WITHOUT A GRUDGE AND FEEL AT PEACE WITH MYSELF. SO THE GUY EVERYONE SEES NOW ,THE LIKABLE, FUN ME, WOULDN’T HAVE BEEN THERE IF I STAYED ANGRY. -Joshua M.
No comments:
Post a Comment